January 23 2024 | Online Dating

This guide aims to shed light on the red flags that can appear in Christian dating, helping you to make wise, heart-led decisions in your journey towards love.

n the quest for a meaningful Christian relationship, it's crucial to be aware of potential red flags that might indicate a less-than-ideal match. Here, we delve into some key warning signs to watch out for, ensuring your journey towards love remains both joyful and true to your faith.

  1. Inconsistency in Faith and Actions

A significant red flag in Christian dating is a discrepancy between what a person professes about their faith and how they live it out. Actions speak louder than words, and a partner whose actions don't align with their claimed beliefs might not be the right match for a devout Christian. For more insights on this, have a look at Christian Dating Advice.

  1. Lack of Respect for Boundaries

Respect for personal and moral boundaries is fundamental in any relationship, especially in Christian dating. If your partner frequently pushes your boundaries or shows little regard for your comfort levels, it's a sign to reconsider the relationship's future. At Veemance, we believe in the importance of respecting each other's boundaries as a cornerstone of a healthy, faith-based relationship.

  1. Overbearing or Controlling Behaviour

A relationship should be a partnership of equals, not a power struggle. Be wary of a partner who tries to control aspects of your life, from how you dress to who you spend time with. 

  1. Avoidance of Community and Fellowship

Christian life is deeply rooted in community and fellowship. If your partner constantly avoids participating in church or group activities, it might indicate a lack of commitment to the faith you share. For more insights on the importance of community involvement in faith, explore the resources offered by Desiring God for valuable perspectives and information on the role of church and group activities in nurturing one's spiritual journey.

  1. Past Relationships and History

While everyone has a past, an unwillingness to discuss previous relationships or a history of unhealthy relationships can be a red flag. Transparency and honesty are key in building a strong, faith-based relationship.

  1. Rapid Pace of Relationship Progression

A relationship that accelerates too quickly, especially without adequate time to understand each other's faith and values, can be a red flag. Christian dating should allow both partners to grow together spiritually at a comfortable pace, fostering a deeper, more meaningful connection. For more insights on pacing and developing a strong foundation in Christian relationships, we invite you to visit our Veemance Blog for more.

  1. Disregard for Family and Friends' Opinions

In Christian dating, the opinions of family and friends often play a vital role. If your partner shows a consistent disregard for the views of those close to you, it might indicate a lack of respect for the important relationships in your life.

  1. Unwillingness to Discuss the Future

A partner who avoids discussions about future plans, especially those involving faith and family, may not be seriously considering a long-term, faith-based commitment. Open conversations about the future are essential in a Christian relationship.

  1. Persistent Negative Traits

Traits such as anger, jealousy, or dishonesty are significant red flags. A Christian relationship should be built on the fruits of the Spirit, including love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Additionally, for those re-entering the dating scene after a divorce, it's crucial to seek a partner who embodies these fruits of the Spirit, ensuring a healthy and nurturing relationship aligned with Christian values.

  1. Disinterest in Personal or Spiritual Growth

A partner who shows little interest in their own personal or spiritual growth can be a concern. In a healthy Christian relationship, both individuals should inspire and support each other's journey towards spiritual maturity.

  1. Financial Irresponsibility or Secrecy

Financial stewardship is an important aspect of Christian life. A partner who is secretive about their finances or consistently irresponsible with money may not be ready for a committed relationship that requires trust and transparency. To gain further insights into managing finances in a relationship, consider exploring resources from Relationships Australia, which offers advice and support on financial matters in personal relationships.

  1. Incompatibility in Core Beliefs and Values

While some differences are normal, significant incompatibility in core beliefs and values can be a major red flag. A successful Christian relationship often hinges on shared fundamental views on faith, morality, and life goals.

  1. Lack of Empathy or Compassion

A lack of empathy or compassion, especially towards those in need, can indicate a misalignment with Christian values of love and kindness. A partner who demonstrates these qualities is essential for a nurturing and supportive relationship.

  1. Overemphasis on Physical Intimacy

While physical attraction is a natural part of relationships, an overemphasis on physical intimacy, especially at the expense of emotional and spiritual connection, can be a warning sign in Christian dating. For a deeper understanding of balancing physical attraction with emotional and spiritual intimacy, the Focus on the Family Australia website provides valuable resources and insights. This site offers a range of articles and advice on nurturing holistic and healthy relationships in line with Christian values.

  1. Avoidance of Difficult Conversations

A partner who consistently avoids difficult conversations, particularly those involving faith, conflict resolution, or personal challenges, may not be equipped for the open communication required in a healthy relationship.

Navigating the Path of Christian Dating

Navigating the world of Christian dating requires patience, discernment, and a strong foundation in faith. However, being aware of these red flags can help you make informed decisions and find a partner who truly complements your faith journey. 

Building a Relationship on a Strong Foundation

A strong Christian relationship is built on a foundation of shared faith, mutual respect, and a commitment to grow together spiritually. By being mindful of these red flags and actively working towards a healthy, God-centered relationship, you can pave the way for a fulfiling and enduring partnership. For further insights into building and maintaining a strong Christian relationship, explore the resources available at Christianity Today, which offers a wealth of articles, research, and guidance on faith-based relationships.


In the world of Christian dating, it's essential to trust your instincts and seek guidance through prayer and counsel from trusted community members. If you're experiencing any red flags in your relationship, take time to reflect and seek advice. At Veemance, we understand the complexities of Christian dating and are here to offer support and guidance. Contact us through our website or call us directly for personalised advice and support. We're here to assist you in finding a meaningful and fulfiling relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What are the core values to look for in a Christian relationship?

A: Honesty, mutual respect, shared faith, and commitment are core values in a Christian relationship.

Q: How important is spiritual compatibility in a Christian relationship?

A: Spiritual compatibility is crucial as it ensures both partners share the same values and perspectives on faith.

Q: Can differences in faith practises within Christianity impact a relationship?

A: Yes, differences in faith practises can impact a relationship, but open communication and mutual respect can help navigate these differences.

Q: How do you approach discussions about faith with your partner?

A: Approach such discussions with openness, respect, and a willingness to understand each other's perspectives.

Q: What role does the church community play in a Christian relationship?

A: The church community offers support, guidance, and a shared space for spiritual growth in a relationship.

Q: How do you balance modern dating practices with traditional Christian values?

A: By setting clear boundaries, prioritising shared faith, and maintaining open communication about expectations and beliefs.