What are the best questions to ask on a first date?

1. "How have you been?"

Don't ask "How are you?" Instead, ask "How have you been?" this question makes your date feel like the two of you have known each other for a while, thereby building instant rapport quickly.

2. "How was your day?"

If you date starts to complain about his/her boss/co-worker/mum/friends, you can get a sense that they may not be very optimistic.

But if instead they tell you something positive, it is a good sign.

3. “Why did you want to be an accountant/engineer/teacher/firefighter, etc.?”

Why your date decided their chosen field is a much more important question than "what do you do?" Understanding the methodology and the reasons behind their chosen career can give you a great insight into the type of person they are and what motivates their decisions.

If they say something like "I had good grades in high school, then I went to law school so that I wouldn't waste my grades", don't be afraid to ask if they had any other motivation behind their chosen career. (You simply ask them in a sweet and warm tone). Remember: breaking the rapport occasionally is also important when it comes to building attraction in Christian dating (if you like this person).

4. "So, I'm curious.... If you didn't have to work, how would you spend your time?"

"So" – pause for half a second – "I'm curious" – pause for a second – Then ask the actual question. 

Introducing pauses before a question will help you put emphasis on what you are saying. This will ensure that your date pays more attention.

Again, their answer to this question gives you additional awareness into your dates character and motivations. It will help you understand their values, interests and most importantly you can see if their values align with your own.  

5. "Can you tell me about your friends?"

Friends are family that your date has chosen. We all have our own personalities and are looking for different qualities in others. Some people are more introverted and prefer a smaller tight knit group of friends, whilst others are more extraverted and prefer to have a large group of friends. To help you on your Christian dating journey, asking these questions early on will help you know what you can expect from your date.  

6. "What fact about you would surprise me the most?"

This is an interesting question and great for breaking the ice. This will really give your date an amazing opportunity to surprise and impress you with their answer.  

7. "What do you see your life looking like in ten years’ time?

This question is brilliant as it gives you a blueprint to your dates long term ambitions and goals. You can very quickly see if their goals are compatible with what you are looking for in your own life. If your date has a vision, they will probably be very passionate when explaining it to you. It will also give them the opportunity to show you that they like you by impressing you with their answer.

• Unconventional and powerful questions:

1. “If you can wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would you like to wake up?”

The answer to this question reveals this person’s curiosity in life and what they are curious about right now. Find it out! I think knowing what they are curious about is more important than discovering what they are passionate about, because frankly, not everyone can identify their own passion and, passion tends to change over time!

2. “When was your last relationship?”

The reason you should ask this question is not because you want to dwell on your dates past, but because how they articulate their response through their comments and body language will give you an invaluable insight into their mindset. For example, are they over their ex? Do they carry resentment? Are they ready and in a place to move on? If your date starts to complain or be negative it can serve as a red flag for you, as it could mean that your date isn’t able to handle difficult situations well.

Remember: How someone responds to challenging situations shows you exactly who they are.

Therefore, if this person doesn’t have any negative comments about their ex, it’s a good sign – it usually means this individual is probably very good at dealing with challenges in Christian dating and in life!